Sunday, March 26, 2006

i went to london...i'll post one picture at a time


This is the first photo I took in London. I thought it was so hilarious. By the way, I'm a teenage boy and I laugh like a horse and still have braces.

Anyway, rumor has it that Prince Albert had a Prince Albert and it was to secure his ding dong* when he went horse back riding and also so that there wouldn't be so much of a bulge when he wore tight pants. Wikipedia says so and so does one British dude I met, so it must be true.

*There'd be a ring in the ding dong and then a rope that went around the waist. Or so they say.

Friday, March 24, 2006

i think i should be a country singer

I think I can sing the blues about anything. Everything has it's sad side. Maybe I shouldn't say "sing the blues" if I'm speaking about country. We're talking about two different styles of music here, but I bet somehow they're linked in some sort of family tree-like way. I should know that but I don't. I even took a music appreciation class once but eh.
I want to sing a sad sad song. Here's my attempt. Imagine I'm strumming an acoustic guitar and I'm howling:

Oh I live in a gutter and I don't take showers
I look out my window and shout at the towers
woo woo woo woo woo.
My face is so banged up people think I'm a creep
And I'm so poor I think my leftovers I'll keep

Wow I really suck at this.
Writing country blues songs is harder than I thought. I bet I could come up with more if I had a life. I imagine if I was a baroness and wore diamonds and sighed with my gloved hand and asked my maidservant to please tell me a story to distract me from my malaise, well then I would have some good country songs then. But as it is...my blues will include bits about fluorescent lighting, paper cuts and ordering office supplies. That's just where I'm at right now.