Sunday, March 26, 2006

i went to london...i'll post one picture at a time

This is the first photo I took in London. I thought it was so hilarious. By the way, I'm a teenage boy and I laugh like a horse and still have braces.

Anyway, rumor has it that Prince Albert had a Prince Albert and it was to secure his ding dong* when he went horse back riding and also so that there wouldn't be so much of a bulge when he wore tight pants. Wikipedia says so and so does one British dude I met, so it must be true.

*There'd be a ring in the ding dong and then a rope that went around the waist. Or so they say.

Friday, March 24, 2006

i think i should be a country singer

I think I can sing the blues about anything. Everything has it's sad side. Maybe I shouldn't say "sing the blues" if I'm speaking about country. We're talking about two different styles of music here, but I bet somehow they're linked in some sort of family tree-like way. I should know that but I don't. I even took a music appreciation class once but eh.
I want to sing a sad sad song. Here's my attempt. Imagine I'm strumming an acoustic guitar and I'm howling:

Oh I live in a gutter and I don't take showers
I look out my window and shout at the towers
woo woo woo woo woo.
My face is so banged up people think I'm a creep
And I'm so poor I think my leftovers I'll keep

Wow I really suck at this.
Writing country blues songs is harder than I thought. I bet I could come up with more if I had a life. I imagine if I was a baroness and wore diamonds and sighed with my gloved hand and asked my maidservant to please tell me a story to distract me from my malaise, well then I would have some good country songs then. But as it blues will include bits about fluorescent lighting, paper cuts and ordering office supplies. That's just where I'm at right now.