Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I had a nice holiday.

I must say I had a nice holiday. I ate some good foods, sat around like a loaf of bread and received some nice presents. I had a nice time I must say.
Everything I have done in the past few days has been about consuming and so then naturally I found one more thing that I would like.
I saw this wonderful infomercial about the Buxton Over the Shoulder bag.
In the new year I would like to be more organized and this Buxton bag could help with that.
Just look at it:

You can fit everything in the bag in an organized manner. Oh the magic of organization.

I was on the gchat with my pal Glennis McMurray and showed her the glory of the Buxton Bag and she noticed that there was something fishy with lady on the website.
She was correct! Look, the woman head picture was taken separately from the woman body picture!

I still would like a Buxton bag even with the unattached head and all.
I'd like a Tan one, thank you.
I would wear it with my purple fanny pack.
I love outfits.
I hope you received a nice outfit for Christmas.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Thoughts for the new year

I'm getting ahead of myself, I know. The year is not over. It's not even Christmas yet. Well hold on to your hats before you steam them off. Jeesh. So anyway, before this year ends, I wanted to make a new year's promise: I will try not to write about the poop that people yell at me while I walk down the street.

I mean gaw, I hardly even post on this blog and it seems that every other post is related to something some moron said to me in the street. How interesting can it be after a while? But the thing is, in the moment it feels like the most interesting thing in the world because
1. I am self centered
2. racial comments seem culturally relevant
3. I need something to write about in my blog and sometimes when I'm mad I write something more interesting than I would have were I happy and content. Maybe I should work on this.
4. Does this list even relate to why I started this list?
5. Orange Juice

So, I figured, this will be the last post about "what someone said to me while I was walking down the street" (for now, at least...I am trying).
And here goes...
I was turning a corner this morning near my block and almost ran into a man who startled me. Our eyes met and he said "Hi Chinee". There. Somehow it feels better to write that. Hi Chinee. I wanted to get that out there. Hi Chinee. It rhymes. It's poetry. It's beautiful and it is something I will have dreams about. A crusty man saying "Hi Chinee" to me as he toasts me a bagel and lovingly spreads scallion cream cheese on my bagel. That sounds more perverted than it needed to be. The point is, I got that off my chest. Someone said those actual words to me. Unfortunately I did not have a good comeback to that. I'm horrible with comebacks. The best I could come up with was "Hey asshole", but that's not poetic. It lacks something.
How about:
"No thanks"
"Merry Christmas"
"Pigs in a blanket mofo"

I think I like the last one best. When is the last time you had a delicious pig in a blanket? I remember when I did, and what a memory it was. I was at a Bar Mitzvah party book release and I bit into the pig in it's blanket and the pig was wrapped in plastic. I ate it anyway. Man, I just made that pleasant thought a bad memory. I'm good at that.

But I swear, I'm doing just fine. I'm eating Goji berries. So really, it's okay.
And here's to less talking about inappropriate things people yell at me in the new year.

Friday, September 14, 2007

in portland oregon

oregon (o-ray-gone)

I'm very happy to be in Portland, OR.
It's beautiful.
I have had great coffee, healthy and non healthy foods, and had the opportunity to purchase some quality sundries.
Just look at my hoop earrings:

and then there's the Doug Fir where me and my pal Brian got some happy hour treats for $2.50 !!! Like wha? and the huh?
and the who? and also it was perty in the Doug Fir. I felt like I was in a very hip log cabin. There was a glass deer head on the wall. I didn't take a pic of it because I was too busy with the food, so just imagine it. A glass deer head.
The Doug Fir sign:

I told the people I want to move here because of the air and the mountains and the such, but the people say that people always say they want to move to Portland and never do. I guess I'll be one of those people. I am happy to be on the West coast. West coast style. Colorful socks and Tevas! and mountain gear.
What am I talking about?
Our show opens tonight at the Winningstead Theater as part of the TBA festival. I hear the theater is gorgeous and I can't wait to see it!
Toi toi toi!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

So yes I don't mean to brag

...but a man mistook me for a puppy yesterday morning. He made that noise you make when you want a puppy to come running to you. I was having coffee with my roommate Tom and looking out the window and a middle aged man was on foot making his way to the office and looked me right in the eyes and that is when he saw the fur and puppy ears and that is when his puppy instincts kicked in. Don't get me wrong. I love puppies and I'm okay with being confused for one.

This is a puppy.

This is me, making a puppy face.

I look like a puppy. I can't help it.
I enjoy baskets filled with sawdust and tiny milkbones, ooh and I love, love, love sleeping next to a ticking clock because it reminds me of my mother's heartbeat.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

i'm in zurich

So Zurich. I'm impressed with the clean streets the straight lines and individually wrapped pieces of meat in the market. Today was a day full of travel and it's already the next day. When we got here we waited around a bit for rooms but while we waited they served some pretty coffees. My camera is all wacky since I dropped it and the whole front face fell off, but I think you can still get a general sense of what is going on. Juliana is kindly holding the cute half and half next to her coffee.

By the way the only English tv station in the room is CNN and they keep talking about the defective toys in China that were sold in NY. Oops.
Oh and before that we were in a tall bus on the way to the hotel and passed this stuff. We are very near to the Limmat river and I even saw a frighteningly large swan in the river. I wanted to say it was fake, but we all knew it was real and I was scared inside but I told no one.

After eating a $20 omelet (no joke) we (me and Jennifer) went to the market to see if we could find some fruits and things and I held up the line while I tried to stuff my bag with the goods I bought because I didn't want to pay for a bag and also cause I'm so eco friendly (sadly I'm not) and I bought these strawberries. Look at how adorable they are. Jennifer was right in saying that they also tasted cute. They did. And I felt guilty for eating something so cute.

Maybe you can't tell but they're so tiny. I have child hands so you probably can't tell but dude these are small strawberries. They were meant for cute field mice to eat but I have taken the food belonging to field mice and taken it as my own. ha ha.

And tonight we had fondue. I had the traditional flavor and others had ham and cheese and pear liquer and things. It was delish.

But then look what happens as it heats and heats and heats:

And that is what it is doing in my stomach right now!
Sweet dreams!

Sunday, July 22, 2007


Me and my pal Ann Carr (otherwise known as Annabelish) made a beautiful video about love, the pursuit of love, and flowers.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

I am back I am but am I

It's a strange place I am in. I feel like I'm a floating thing in the air, like a frisbee or something. Did I spell frisbee wrong? According to this spell check I have, but hell I don't care. frisbee. There it is again. Deal with it people. Wow I just got a little aggressive there. I think that is what happens when one floats too much. I just got back from Germany (because I am in a play written and directed by Young Jean Lee called "Songs" for short and it's fun but maybe you don't care about that, in which case, sure I understand you never asked why I was in Germany, but I thought I'd say what I was doing anyway cause that's what I'm in the business of doing, doing what I feel) and I think I'm unable to really absorb cultural things. All I can say is that indeed the hot dogs are better there. I'm sorry Minnesota. I know you pride yourself on your beer and bratwursts. But you'll have to sit in the backseat of the car of hot dog deliciousness. Did I just call a German wiener a hot dog? Yes, I did. I did that and you'll have to deal. There I go with my floaty behavior again. But I'm serious about sausage and hot dogs. When I speak of these things I am not joking. I don't joke about sausage. I don't joke about intestines stuffed with meat parts that have been dressed in things such as herbs and fennel or whathaveyou. That's one word. whathaveyou. one word.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Oklahoma Project

April 10, y'all at Galapagos.

I stopped posting for a while because I was exploring the caverns of somewhere and I was very cavey.
So, but also I started working on this new show and I'm excited about it cause it's fun.
Hope you can make it.
woo wee.

*poster designed by the lovely Emily Wilbur.

Friday, January 12, 2007

ancient chinese secret

I am a receptionist. It is what I have done for years. Yesterday while stretching at my desk at the mid-day yawn, a man who works down the hall walked by and said "Oh, ha, I thought you were doing tai chi or something". Ha. I giggled at him. A tee hee hee. When he looked the other way, I reached into his chest with my strong disciplined tai chi arms, and pulled out his live heart, still beating in my hands. I then made a simple soup stock with carrots, celery, onion and a little bit of ginger, put the fresh heart in the stock and served the soup the the rest of the office. They all were pleased with the taste as well as the aroma of the soup. They exclaimed, "This is delicious, what did you put in here?" I giggled and said, "ancient Chinese secret".

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Martin Short!

Crystal, Martin Short in his robe, and me.

Monday, January 01, 2007

holidays and on to the new year

The holidays blah blah blah now officially over. I worried. I fretted and now the start of a new year. (I am neatly adjusting my stack of paper and sitting up straight.)
But here are some memories from the past few weeks...

This is my cousin Christina enjoying some bubbly and showing holiday spirit to the acorn wooden bar post thing.

This is my other cousin Tracey (I have more cousins but that's another story). We're going on a walk and she's showing her sheer enthusiasm for walks, sun and Christamas pudding (an English delicacy that is served with custard)

I am paying my respects to Santa who in turn is paying respects to the baby Jesus. Santa, thanks for taking off your hat. Thank you also for the bag of Fiber One. I really love fiber and you, and your son...wait a second.

We move on to New Years Eve and to Adira Amram's party. Lots of pretty people, dancing and drinking of champagne out of high heeled shoes.

Adira and me. (note Adira is dressed as New Years itself.)
Two cheeses and a 5 gallon jug of cheesey poofs.
Hard to decide which is packed more with real cheese.

Baron Vaughn with a plate of treats. Always there to give a friend some food, that Baron. Actually Baron presented me with a plate with two small morsels. I did not touch either, rather I settled for a bag of vittles called "combos".

Me and my roomie Crystal. She's looking very doe eyed. This was before she realized I was throwing gang signs behind her head at which point she stabbed me, but luckily the knife only went in 1 inch. I bled a little, we all breathed a sigh of relief and had a good laugh.

And then the party turned to dance fever.

I don't know what this move is, nor do I remember how this happened.

No words. Just look.

Adira Amram peacing out. Peace good people. Peace.
2007 yes.