Tuesday, January 03, 2006


The cute thing. So there is that recent
New York Times article
about cuteness and it got me thinking about cuteness. Part of the reason Pandas have survived extinction is due to how irresistably cute they are. I'll admit it. I wish I could cuddle with a Panda. And sure, I love things that are cute. I'll even go "ooh" "awwww" and tilt my head at cuteness.

It makes me wonder... If there were a huge Panda that wanted to take over the world would we let it just because it's cute? I think we would. And the Panda would make us do weird things like build amusement parks based on bamboo and make our children speak Panda and we'd have to wear mits to make our hands look like bear paws. I'm not saying we'd be miserable. I'm just saying that life would be very very different from the life we know now.
There would be libraries where the only things you could borrow would be rodents and bamboo seeds to grow bamboo. Also, no one could ever wear a pelt of any kind. We'd be oppressed dammit, and the ugly things of the world, the haggard opossum would laugh and say, "Look, it's your own damned fault. You let a Panda rule the world". And there would be tears.

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