america sings but my mom shouldn't

Last night I tried out my new show "America Sings", and it got me to thinking about singing and people and singing. My mom is the worst singer in the world. I can say this because she is. She is almost tone deaf but that doesn't stop her from yelling Elvis songs. She doesn't really sing, she just talk/yells. I know I'm being very mean right now, but it's okay because she'll never read this. She never learned to read. That's right, my mother is illiterate. She has gotten by on her good looks and her extremely loud yelling voice. Also she is 6 feet tall and she eats all meat raw. Her talons are ten feet long and children run from her. I love my mom. I really miss not seeing her more often. I hope she'll one day fly over to New York and say "hi". Her wingspan is pretty amazingly large. I'd say it reaches over 30 feet and in a good wind it stretches further.