Yesterday I performed at the fancy department store Henri Bendel. You might say to youself, "Becky, you don't belong there, that's where ladies belong and you are certainly no lady". Well, that's not very nice of you to say, but I'll forgive you. I actually like performing in spaces that aren't meant for comedy. I have performed in an Indian restaurant, a strip mall and just last week I performed at a BBQ. I think I should strictly do shows in places people wouldn't expect there to be a performance. I will be seeing you at your local Gristedes.
This here is Desiree Burch standing in front of the Henri Bendel entrance. Desiree hosted the evening which included performances by Jessica Delfino, Chelsea Peretti, Giulia (aka Guileau) Rozzi, Elizabeth Dahmen and Rachel Shukert. Wait, but look at the display behind Desiree. Those are golden ball sacks. Come into our store. Golden ball sacks await you. It's like the ball sacks of old money inviting you in. Come on in.
This is the stage we performed on. Look at the fancy gowns. During Rachel's peformance a lady came out and asked her to "keep it down" because famed hair stylist Fredrick Fekkai was speaking. I don't know if I spelled that right. I just know he does something with hair and is very important. He must have been saying something like "Ladies, ladies don't fight. All of you can touch my fa fa hands that have graced the golden locks of Jennifer Anniston and Reese Witherspoon". They were all holding hands and having a spiritual moment.
Btw this is not a shot of me performing. This was taken after everything was done. It reminds me of when I had piano recitals as a kid and after the recital was over, my mom made me sit at the piano and pretend to play so she could get a good shot because she couldn't take a pic while the recital was going on, and I'd smile at the camera which is totally unnatural cause when I played piano I cried.
Goodbye from Midtown. Look at this shit. Trees growing out of the side of a mirrored building. Thanks mister Trump.